If you have ever been laid off, you know the face people make when you tell them. It’s a mix of pity and panic, even when they’re trying to say something helpful.
I have navigated the silences and “should-haves” and “could-haves”. While most people mean well, their words can’t change the reality that sometimes, the economy just decides to ruin your Tuesday.
You cannot stop people from giving advice, but you can spin it to your advantage and create motivation and momentum. Here are three things people say and how to get something useful out of them.
1. The “Fixer” Comment
“Have you tried revising your resume? Maybe change the font? Have you tried [insert obvious website]?”
Why it can paralyze you:
This implies your unemployment is a logic puzzle you simply haven’t tried hard enough to solve. It suggests that if you had just used Helvetica instead of Times New Roman, you wouldn’t be in this mess. The reality is that hiring freezes don’t care about your margins.
The Positive Spin:
The doubt created by a “Fixer” comment can send you into a spiral of A/B testing your resume until 3:00 AM. Don’t do that.
Give yourself permission to do the work once, and then stop. Put in the effort to get your resume right, ensure it is clean and professional, and then shift your energy. The Callings.ai AI Resume editor and Resume Assessment tools will give you good feedback. Your confidence builds when you are putting your best out there.
You cannot second-guess your way into a job offer. Once you hit “submit”, the ball is out of your court. Go do something else.
2. The “Hustle” Comment
“It’s all about networking these days. You just need to get out there and sell yourself!”
Why it seems overwhelming:
Networking sounds transactional and exhausting. When you’re feeling raw, the idea of walking into a room of strangers to “sell yourself” makes you feel even more unsure of yourself. Who wants to run headfirst into that?
The Positive Spin:
Stop “networking” and start building the community you actually want.
Ignore the pressure to blast generic LinkedIn messages to strangers. Instead, view this as an opportunity to build a habit of genuine connection. Take a real interest in what others are doing—not because you need a favor, but because you are a curious human being. The Networking tab in Callings.ai job descriptions is a great place to find relevant people to interact with.
Reach out to people you respect. Ask them what they are working on. Listen. This isn’t about collecting business cards; it’s about connecting with peers who you can learn from and who can learn from you. Nets and hammocks look similar but feel different, so build a way of reaching out that is comfortable for you.
3. The “Toxic Positivity” Comment
“You should enjoy your time off! I’d kill for a break.”
Why it is better advice than you think:
Ah, yes. The “vacation” where you can’t sleep because you’re calculating how long your savings will last. This comment dismisses the very real pressure of bills and the existential dread of a stalled career path. It frames your crisis as a luxury.
The Positive Spin:
Turn “Work-Life Balance” into “Life Balance”.
Okay, you can’t ignore the bills. But you can ignore the urge to spend 12 hours a day refreshing your email. Since you no longer have a 9-to-5, you are momentarily free from the “Work” part of the equation, leaving you with just…Life.
Say yes to the things that don’t cost money. Say yes to the long walk on a Tuesday morning. Say yes to reading the book that’s been gathering dust. Say yes to helping a friend move or volunteering. Fill the time with personal growth and small bits of fun. When you fill your day with things that benefit you and the people you care about, the “unknown” feels a lot less scary. You aren’t just waiting for a job; you’re living.
The Bottom Line
People will try to fill the silence with noise because they are uncomfortable with your uncertainty. Smile, nod, and let their opinions slide right off. You have work to do—not just finding a job, but building a community and living a balanced life while you look.
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