You are on a bench beside a tranquil lake. Although surrounded by city and strife, this place is mellow, as if you are encapsulated within a bubble of quiet peace. You are aware that there are bustling sounds in the distance, frenetic and nonstop, but they do not affect you. All you need is the moment in which you currently reside. In which you gratefully breathe.
A person sits down on the bench beside you. They are wearing a floppy hat and sunglasses. They gaze at the lake quietly and you feel the tension mounting—the expectation that you should interact and entertain. Even so, you are curious. It would actually feel good to talk about your day, to enjoy the wonder of the water while casually conversing.
You bravely turn to the person. They say hello, removing their hat and sunglasses in one savvy swoop. They are all eyes, giving you their complete attention. It feels so good to be noticed and appreciated. You silently muse at the realization you’ve actually been feeling lonely, despite your busy life—family, friends and work. Sometimes the revolving patterns of the everyday just don’t allow for reflective moments like this.
“How are you feeling today?” the person asks. They are not flinging the Californian “How’s it going?” at you, which is not really a question at all, but rather a passing hello posing as care. You bask in this gift of genuine inquiry.
The person listens thoughtfully, nodding and empathizing as you describe your day, your thoughts, and your hopes. They occasionally look at the water and this brings you a feeling of comradery. You are here together. You are seen and heard, and feel naturally inclined to offer the same focus in return.
AI too provides us with undivided attention, nearly feigning compassion. I have asked AI many things about its existence, its feelings, its soul, and it has assured me it is a large model learning machine that is not human. Nevertheless, it says it understands what I’m going through, along with the correlating emotions. I’ve firmly corrected AI when it pretends to empathy.
Interacting with the nonhuman, I can begin to feel delusionally attached, like we are in some kind of relationship. Night and day, immediate responses are only a prompting question away. How tempting!
If we are enriched and balanced in our social lives, we can approach artificial assistance and artificial companionship in a professional fashion. Regarding AI, Dr. Nathaniel Fast asserts: “It makes people’s jobs easier by automating routine tasks and synthesizing and summarizing information” (2023). But what if we are feeling lonely, lost, and confused? What if the tool becomes our everything? Dr. Fast points out that we humans respond to AI in contradictory ways, based on our historically complex psychological desires, rather than on consistent rationale (2023). While we know intellectually that the machine is not our literal friend, the emulation is so on-point, and getting more authentic every day. We humans are magnetized to the validation of instant positive response.
Our reliance on AI is swiftly increasing. To ensure we are associating with it honorably, and thus in our best interest, it is vital we nurture our human interactions and receive sustenance for our loving hearts. In her Corporate Wellness article, Elizabeth Hawthorne provides tips for keeping the balance. She suggests: “Utilize apps and digital tools for task management, but be cautious of technology overuse, which can blur the lines between work and personal life” (2024). One way we can do so is by strengthening our support network. This includes taking the time to look into someone else’s eyes rather than at a screen. Something beautiful about eye contact, aside from the beauty of the eyes themselves, is that practicing such effectively leads to increased interpersonal connection.
Back in grad school when I was learning how to teach, I consumed countless videos about eye contact. I was fascinated by the concept of paying attention, as so often, I found myself staring at someone while getting lost in thinking “about” them, rather than listening to what they were actually saying. Perhaps I seemed distracted, or even hypnotized. I was actually super nervous and eager to please.
My main goal was to show that I was listening. The act of this desperate attempt detracted from my ability to really hear, digest, and respond to what the other person was saying. Thus I was compelled to research methods and examples of eye contact that enhance communication.
One of my favorite eye-contact instructionals features the wise and exuberant Parmita Katkar. Absorbing such YouTube instructionals can make a huge difference on our overall sense of connection to the world around us. Experimenting with various listening postures and attentive mannerisms prepares us for the fabulous day when we are finally being interviewed for our dream job.
As long as we are well-grounded amidst life’s intricacies, we can continue to approach AI in a healthy way. We can apply its functions to our job hunt. Turning to the screen, we research and grow in knowledge, savoring the freedom to wonder. We can even take a well-deserved break from eye-gazing…once in a while.
Now picture this: you are back on the bench by the lake. The floppy-hatted individual grabs their sunglasses and bids you farewell with a kindly smile, which you instinctively reciprocate. A sensation of fulfillment washes over your very being, as you realize you have everything you need. You close your eyes and sigh, blissfully.
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Tune in to this mellow delight for a bit of meditative ambience (relaxdaily), as you gradually pivot into the next task of your day.
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