The Hunt Blog

This morning you awaken to rejection. 

It is a blow to your heart.

The birds are singing a happy little medley. You stretch, smile, then reach for your phone. 

Noticing THE email from THE company, you gasp. Oh goodness, what will you find?

A response, of course. Really though? A response to your application in a mere 2 days? You just applied the night before last. How prompt. Your hopes begin to soar, but regrets drag you down as you read. 

Plummeting further with each word, you lose yourself to:

Disappointment.

Insecurity. 

Doom.

You flounder with dismay. You are stunned. Then you feel nothing at all. 

Vacuous. 

This patterned response to rejection is nothing new. Ego wants to be petted. Naturally, you want to win and succeed. Don’t we all?

Rejection is not only uncomfortable, but downright inconvenient. And the problem with falling down the disappointment tunnel is that self-worth takes a hit. Visions for the future get smeared across the canvas until they are no longer recognizable. 

Dramatic reaction is a form of self-sabotage, but it can also turn into self-absorption. Implosion impedes forward movement. You curl up and gaze at your belly-button or shut your eyes to the world entire. 

The only way to keep going with your job hunt is to work hard at not stopping. This motivation is bolstered by reading about the experiences of others and how they cope with rejection. 

In his article “Why rejection hurts so much—and what to do about it”, Guy Winch offers some wise instructions which can prevent the implosion trigger:

1. Have zero tolerance for self-criticism
2. Revive your self-worth
3. Boost feelings of connection

People love to come up with lists, it seems. You can start your own list of best practices for dealing with rejection. Pretty soon you’ll have your very own personalized therapeutic job hunt mindset. 

Thomas Smithyman presents a gentle take on not being chosen. In his piece, “How to handle rejection”, he proposes that it is wise to:

1. Rally whatever social support is available
2. Observe and identify what you’re feeling
3. Interpret your experience with self-compassion
4. Respond to the rejection with problem-focused coping

You get to choose how you digest the information you receive. You can have a temper tantrum. You can cry into the reckless winds. Or you can choose to be firm with yourself. You can parent yourself.

Stability is vital during the job hunt phase of life. You must balance self-love with self-determination.

In his Harvard Business Review article, “How to bounce back from rejection”, Ron Carucci includes recovery advice in the form of psycho-emotional steps:

1. Understand the role of anticipation 
2. Acknowledge the pain without falling victim to it
3. Learn with humility
4. Find the courage to grow
5. Have the grace to let go of the rest

Boundaries and limits keep you in check. You can hold yourself accountable by connecting with your community and seeing small waves of rejection as merely frothy (and temporary) white caps amidst the big context of life’s oceanic magnificence. 

John Julitz of Manpower Group offers 7 self-talk strides to pull positivity from what feels like the negative. His piece, “From nope to hope: How to turn job rejection lemons into career lemonade” glosses over these insightful action items:

1. Don’t take it personally
2. Reframe the experience
3. Take breaks when needed
4. Update your application materials
5. Expand your search
6. Get encouragement and support
7. Stay positive and persistent

Thinking in such an organized fashion, how can you be doomed for long, no matter how tragic you feel? Rumination might inspire some dramatic poetry, and then, you must shine on. After rejection, take a dose of self-discipline with a chaser of sunlight, and move on to the next opportunity. And keep reading more tips…

In her article, “7 Tips on how to deal with rejection”, Elizabeth Perry walks through the typical stages of rejection before presenting distinct steps for dealing with the angst:

1. Recognize that rejection is a part of life
2. Accept what happens
3. Process your emotions
4. Treat yourself with compassion
5. Stay healthy
6. Don’t allow rejection to define you
7. Grow from the experience 

May you feel empowered and ready to face everything.