They say that love is all we need. They say that love is many-splendored. They say we should love who we’re with. They say many things, but what is the underlying nugget, dear job hunters?
Seeking employment, we are keenly aware that love will not pay the bills; they keep racking up even if income is at a stand-still. Love does not provide physical nutrition in the form of calories. Nevertheless, the beautiful emotional support that love instills can offer a solid foundation, bolstering the job hunt while diminishing the negative sensations that plague us as we struggle for success.
How can we grow love in a manner that lights our way as we hunt for the job of our desires? We can learn how to connect through demonstrating the kind of caring that the people in our lives want to receive, and this will ultimately bring us closer. Keeping in mind that there are many forms of love and that love builds community and connection, let’s talk strategy here.
Love Languages
I used to think that love languages were solely a form of romantic knowledge—that they suggested how to interact and respond in a romantic setting. I was so wrong. Love languages have to do with how we uniquely feel most cared about and supported. They can apply to anyone. Love languages are basically styles of communication. They reveal how people want to be approached and how they feel appreciated by others.
Adrienne Santos-Longhurst writes about the concept of love languages, spelling them out in her Healthline article, “There Are 5 Love Languages—Here’s How to Find Yours”. The majority of content surrounding love languages focuses on intimate partnerships and romantic love. However, Santos-Longhurst notes that “…love languages don’t just apply to romantic relationships. They can be helpful in your platonic relationships too” (2022). When we are able to identify our own preferences, we learn what inspires us within interpersonal connections, companies, and overall job cultures.
Dr. Gary Chapman, author of “The 5 Love Languages”, offers bountiful resources on his Love Languages platform. This is a wonderful landing space for taking quizzes and gaining knowledge on how to grow lasting and meaningful connections. Have a visit to discover more.
Once we know how to identify our own expectations, we can be on the lookout for how other people want to be treated. This is a vital component in building connections with the people in our community. We want to treat them how they want to be treated.
Putting Love Into Action
- If our fellow job-hunting colleague feels appreciated through “Words of Affirmation”, we might make an extra effort to let them know they are doing a particularly effective job on a project. How so? Elaborate on the compliment to include a detail, such as that they are presenting well-researched details.
- Say our childhood friend feels most endeared when receiving “Quality Time”. We might request a nice long walk or another activity we both enjoy, so as to devote moments of simply being in one another’s presence, catching up on the details of life without a time crunch.
- Imagine that our long-term neighbor consistently indicates a fondness for handshakes and mid-conversational pats on the shoulder. We might ensure that some form of “Physical Touch” happens during interactions. This small gesture could really mean alot to them.
- Perhaps our former boss of 2 decades needs a meal while they get back on their feet after a big surgery. This offering would fall under the category of “Acts of Service”, as we might provide something that could be obtained anywhere but means so much more when coming from us.
- Some people feel most cherished when “Receiving Gifts” from their friends. Knowing that our sibling holds this preference, we might bring them a box of their favorite tea or a bag of their favorite coffee next time we meet, just to show—in their preferred love language—that we care.
Love’s Platonic Context
Note that the above examples of putting love into action are non-romantic examples. Due to the fact I am focusing on job hunting here, I want to stress the importance of platonic connection, since that mode of interaction is the one acceptable form in a professional realm. I include family and friendship scenarios to suggest platonic support systems, but since the internet is flooded with informationals on romantic love languages, I’ll leave that up to dear reader to explore at their own convenience. Rest assured that results will be plentiful.
Assessing Comfort Level
Remember that the gesture of giving comes from a true desire to provide. It is our choice how we express love in someone else’s preferred love language. If they like gifts but we don’t want to give gifts, or they like physical contact but we are really uncomfortable with it, we should stick to our own preferred love language.
Love should always be comfortable and should always feel safe. Sometimes when we analyze our own tendencies, we might discover some people are giving us what we want, or inversely, we might come to realize that they are knowingly or unknowingly giving us what we don’t want.
It’s extremely important for us to speak up about our comfort levels—to show and say how we want to be treated. People at work, at home, and along the job hunt journey will benefit from knowing how we truly feel, even if that means forming a boundary they just can’t cross.
Love is not a performance
Love is not a performance, so we need not fear—we are not on stage in our relationships. We can mess up and try again. In a way it is like arriving upon a scientific thesis, this discovering of love languages. The reason behind the giving and receiving of love is simply to achieve closeness and understanding. This can only happen over time. So we can take our time.
Keeping in touch
Maintaining relationships includes the consistency of checking in. The flow of communication should be mutually exchanged. To keep our community thriving, whether it be a one-on-one friendship or a larger team connection, reaching out is so important. A simple ask: “How are you doing today” or “How have you been?” or a more direct: “It would be great to meet up sometime. When are you free?” could make all the difference in keeping the relationship bonds strong.
Love’s Dimensions Create Community
Transferring the recommended skills for any kind of relationships and applying them to career-oriented everyday scenarios can help us in all that we do to express our caring, to be better listeners, and to add to the solidity of community. When we really know one another, it is easier to care. From caring emerges love. Love grows community. Simple as that.
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