The Hunt Blog

To lend an ear would suggest letting someone borrow your ear. 

You are not literally giving them your ear. They will not be taking it with them afterward.

In fact, you are not necessarily even using your ear to lend an ear. You might be listening to someone speak to you, or you could be reading something they have shared with you. Their communication could be expressed in real-time or might arrive after the fact. 

Lending an ear is the gesture of giving someone your focus—your time and your energy. 

When you let someone borrow something of yours, you’ll want to make sure it is in working condition beforehand. If you are listening to the sound of their voice, you’ll want to ensure you can hear them well. If you are reading textual communication, you’ll want to have a substantial view so the comprehension is easy. Whatever tool you are using, make sure it works. 

To be most attentive, you’ll need to create a balance between serenity and motivation. 

You’ll want to show that you are interested in what the other person is communicating to you. If their topic is not the most enlightening thing you have ever heard, you should just keep in mind that the words are important to the sharer. You can simply give the gift of valuing their time and considering their point of view. Inquiring along the way will help you understand why they are choosing to share such things. 

Here’s a checklist of graces to note when you are lending an ear:

• Be curious (asking questions).

• Be neutral (not trying to solve anything and only giving an opinion if asked for one).

• Mirror what is said to you, regurgitating with your own spin.

• Be warm and make the other person feel good.

• Minimize distractions.

• Give eye contact and positive body language, or supportive written responses.

• Confirm that you are understanding correctly.

• Keep on topic.

Wait until someone is done sharing before you decide how you want to respond. If they are sitting across from you, take a moment to ponder and process before speaking. If you are writing to them in response, note that (unless they’re presenting an emergency) you have some time to consider what they said and figure out the way you want to respond. 

Just like a library book, your conversation does ultimately have a due date. Your rented ear must be returned to you for future lending. Some talks are so amazing you wish they would never end. Others might require some creativity or determination to fill the time with substance. 

Remember that everything you say has reason and meaning. Listen well, then speak with care. 

And go easy on yourself. Lending an ear is a skill that grows with practice. It is also a skill that can fluctuate depending on life events, so offer self-forgiveness if at times you are distracted.

Listening is the most important part of communication. This includes listening to yourself when you respond. Think in your mind rather than aloud. This way, your feedback will be thoughtful.

Lend your ear with intention. It’s generous. 

And you never know when a sweet opportunity will come to play!