The Hunt Blog

Regrets. We all have them. It’s inevitable.

Say we mess up. We might stumble in that moment, but what happens when our regrets begin to consume us? How can we move forward in peace?

During the tail-end of my teens, I landed my first people-facing role. I would soon find out it takes time and skill to facilitate varied personalities in a fast-paced food service setting. 

I have a very clear memory of a personal fumble and the avalanche of regrets that followed. 

It’s been 25 years, but I still remember…

Deep in the heart of Old Oakland, multitudes of people would shuffle (and sometimes sashay) through huge lines to partake of our delicacies. I was assigned to the register. It was my first time. I smiled at everyone who approached. If they had firm boundaries, I found that the interaction went smoothly, but if someone was energetically needy—perhaps lonely or unusually stressed—they would linger a little longer and chat freely with me. I didn’t know how to extract myself from such conversations. People who behaved like this clearly had no apparent concern for the long line extending behind them, the long line of people on time-crunched lunch breaks shifting from one leg to the other impatiently. 

One woman with the most interesting attire—crisply tailored clothes topped by layers of necklaces and long, beautifully manicured hair—reached the register and started sharing with me about her day. She told me she lived in San Francisco. She told me about the neighborhood near her house. She told me about her job. She told me about the layout of her office. This would have been all well and fine, except we were slammed. There was literally a line out the door. 

I was distracted by the woman’s words and her urgency, her enthusiasm, and her obstinate will to stand in one place despite the chaos around us. I had a lengthening row of orders waiting to be charged, yet I moved at a turtle’s pace, awkwardly punching the right and wrong buttons on the register. Everything got backed up. I hated to interrupt, but somehow I needed to complete her transaction and move along to the next person. I kept listening, unsure. A manager had to cut in. The bejeweled woman looked offended, but quickly gathered her lunch and walked away. 

It was like the whole room was mad at me. Not only were my co-workers and manager frustrated, but some customers might have actually been late returning to work, or even missed out on finishing their meals. Afterward, I was lectured about being prompt and delivering swift hospitality.

Filled with regret that day, I went home thinking I was a horrible person. It was very dramatic thinking, but I was young and insecure. My mistake affected other people and I held on to this fact, accusing myself in cycles of derision. 

The biggest problem was that I let my regrets consume me. 

For the next couple of months behind the cash register, I felt worried when anyone became extra chatty. If I saw the woman who had talked my ear off on that fateful day, I would do my best to avoid her. I even asked someone else to switch roles and take my place a couple of times when I saw her approaching. My regret filled me with guilt that triggered rumination. My heart grew heavy with shame. The avalanche was cold and unforgiving. The more it plummeted the bigger it grew. 

I share this embarrassing story with you not because I am still regretting, but to relay that I could have turned the situation into a simple learning lesson. I could have let it pass. I could have accepted that it happened and then transformed it into a comedic memory for laughs. 

How utterly ridiculous that I was so hypnotized by one individual during a busy lunch rush. It would have made for a funny scene in a movie. This blooper may not have been funny to the people who were impacted, but I imagine that my anxiety over the thought of it possibly happening again continued to negatively impact people. I’m sure that my distraction over the regret led to less productivity.

Instead of regretting, we can:

• Admit that we made a mistake or an unwise decision
• Accept that whatever happened was just another experience in life
• Learn from the experience, pondering different ways to handle such in the future
• Forgive ourselves for whatever it is we feel we were responsible for in the situation
• Move on and continue to enjoy life, knowing that mistakes happen, but we will keep on improving if we are determined to do so
• If we have a hard time letting go of regret, imagine someone else was in our place:
  • How would we respond if they told us what they did?
  • How could we see the memory in a humorous light?

Regret nothing and do better next time. Apologize, release, and flow on.

You’ll have the highest level of energy to pour into your job hunt if you say no to regret!